Now Playing - The Movie Review Podcast

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Hitman: Agent 47

Agent 47 is back and balder than ever in a 2015 relaunch of the Hitman franchise.  Can Homeland actor Rupert Friend make a stronger impression than Timothy Olyphant as the legendary cloned assassin trades bullets with wannabe Wolverine Zachary Quinto? And can new agent Hannah Ware really be 43 times better than the boys if it takes her 43 years to locate sickly bioengineer Ciaran Hinds? Trust Justin, Stuart, and Arnie to protect listeners from head trauma as they navigate another treacherous video game adaptation. Listen now!

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The Visit

M. Night Shyamalan pays a Visit to Blumhouse - the movie studio responsible for the low cost/highly profitable Paranormal Activity series - after disgruntled Hollywood executives cut off funding to future projects. Does the director look like an old man trying his hand at the found footage genre? Or does his pseudo-documentary about the sinister habits of sundowning grandparents leave Jakob, Stuart, and Arnie crying for their mommy? Hear the hosts rap about it all when you Donate for Gold Level today!

Hitman

Justin, Arnie, and Stuart use the 42nd installment of the Now Playing Arcade to celebrate being 47… that is, video game Hitman: Codename 47. Die Hard 4 villain Timothy Olyphant hoped to make a killing at the box office when he suited up to play this mysterious baldie with a barcode back in Thanksgiving 2007.  But can his follically-challenged assassin deliver enough carnage and believable romantic chemistry with beautiful Russian target Olga Kurylenko to satisfy audiences not holding a joystick?  Find out when you slip on some headphones and Listen Now.

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After Earth - For Annual Subscribers

Are you entertained watching ungrateful children sass their parents in public places? Check out After Earth - M. Night Shyamalan’s documentary on the trials and tribulations Will Smith goes through trying to turn son Jaden into a movie star. (Ostensibly, it’s also a sci-fi saga about a father and son marooned on inhospitable future Earth, working together to find enough cell signal to call an Uber.) Is the twist ending that Shyamalan is working for Scientologists?  Find out when you Donate for Now Playing’s Gold Level Series.

 

NOTE: This listing is for annual subscribers to our show. You can also get this movie review individually for a small donation.

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After Earth

Are you entertained watching ungrateful children sass their parents in public places? Check out After Earth - M. Night Shyamalan’s documentary on the trials and tribulations Will Smith goes through trying to turn son Jaden into a movie star. (Ostensibly, it’s also a sci-fi saga about a father and son marooned on inhospitable future Earth, working together to find enough cell signal to call an Uber.) Is the twist ending that Shyamalan is working for Scientologists?  Find out when you Donate for Now Playing’s Gold Level Series.

The Last Airbender - Donation Bonus

M. Night Shyamalan’s career continued to deflate as he turned The Last Airbender, a beloved Nickelodeon cartoon series, into the Razzie award-winning Worst Film of 2010.  Are podcasters Stuart, Arnie, and Jakob ready to tattoo red arrows on their foreheads and go to war with this sham cinematic genius?  Or can they bend the rules for badly directed karate kids riding a flying bison, and let it all pass as children’s entertainment? Join our Gold Level Tribe and rediscover the lost art of breaking wind. Donate Today!          

Aquaman

DC Comics invites audiences to dive under the sea and get chummy with Aquaman - a character who got a lot of sand kicked in his face back in the days of Superfriends.  Now tough guy Jason Momoa is on the hook to win the bastard Atlantean some cinematic justice. Will he stop half-brother King Orm (Patrick Wilson) from becoming Oceanmaster, and uniting the seven seas against the surface world?  More importantly, can "Fishboy" talk crabby podcasters Arnie, Jakob, and Stuart out of torpedoing his first stand-alone feature? Listen and find out.

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Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

Thanos may have turned Tom Holland and half the Marvel Universe into ash last summer, but you can still find a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man on the big screen when you enter Into The Spider-Verse. Sony Pictures Animation brings together no less than nine different incarnations of the comic book webslinger - including Miles Morales, Peni Parker, and porcine punchline Spider-Ham - for an amazing mixed media showdown with Kingpin. Does this inter-dimensional crossover get the Spidey Senses tingling for Arnie, Jakob, and Stuart?  Listen and find out!

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Lady in the Water - Donation Bonus

Everybody out of the swimming pool!  There’s a Lady in the Water who keeps insisting M. Night Shyamalan is the most important and inspirational writer of the 21st Century… even after making this flop fairy tale!  Can schlubby building superintendent Paul Giamatti set sea nymph Bryce Dallas Howard straight, and keep this vanity project from going sideways? Or will Stuart, Arnie, and Jakob be forced to tear apart the Story like a pack of wild Scrunts?  Donate Today and find the hidden messages in this unofficial remake of Splash!  

Max Payne

Mark Wahlberg aimed to please fans of the popular shooter Max Payne, but his 2008 movie adaptation missed its target audience and clipped the wings of a potential franchise. Will this vigilante cop have better luck scoring points with Now Playing Arcade hosts Justin, Arnie, and Stuart?  And can they coherently link the man who murdered Max’s family to a wild conspiracy involving hallucinogenic street drugs and C-list celebrities Mila Kunis, Chris O’Donnell, and singer Nelly Furtado? Your best shot at finding answers is to Listen Now!       

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